Why Isn’t Anyone Buying From Me?

I once did a rough calculation of how many times I asked for the ‘business’ when I was a stripper.

The answer?

316,000 ASKS!

Do you want a dance?

Do you want a dance?

Do you want a dance?

Over and over. Night after night. Year after year. For 9 years.

When it came to ‘asking for the dance’ my confidence was unshakable.

Then after I quit stripping in 2001, I went on to co-create a multi-million dollar commercial real estate investment company with my dad.

And part of the reason it became so successful was my total ex-stripper confidence.

I was pretty fearless when it came to selling & negotiating deals with mostly men because I’d already been wrangling money out of their pockets for almost a decade.

When I started my coaching business in 2005, though, it seemed like my confidence was missing in action.

I remember my husband asking me, “How can you be sooooo confident – even arrogant perhaps – in your commercial real estate business? And yet, in your coaching business feel terrified, insecure, and totally unsure of yourself?”

He had a good point. 

I promised myself I was going to figure out my confidence problem. And I realized something very important:

When I was a stripper, I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. Get on stage. Put on a good show. Get off the stage. Ask the customers if they wanted a lap dance. And since the club did all the marketing to get customers into the club, I didn’t have to worry about that. I knew exactly what my marching orders were and exactly what my product was: lap dances. 

When I worked in commercial real estate for 10 years, I was responsible for all the sales and leasing. I knew exactly what I was selling. I never took it personally if a potential tenant chose to lease from another building owner, or if a tenant moved out. My product was clear. My marching orders were clear.

It’s a very different raw, vulnerable story when you are selling your own creation.

I see it all the time in smart, creative women. Self-doubt. Second-guessing. Crushed confidence. Lots of crying over their laptop, wrecking their DIOR mascara.

These women do not need more “self-confidence.” 

What they need in spades is PRODUCT CONFIDENCE: the unmistakable knowledge that what you do matters and has a huge impact on people’s lives. 

So how do you get product confidence? Watch my Woman UnZipped Interview with LeahRose Farber to find out.