You know Aesop—the skincare brand, the amber bottles, the stores that look like art galleries.
Well, I just found out that every June, when every other company is slapping a rainbow on a tote bag and calling it support, Aesop does the opposite.
They select a handful of stores, and for 3 days they take all the products off the shelves, and replace them with books by queer authors. You walk in, pick up a book, and take it home for free—without having to buy a single serum, hand wash, or room spritz.
I’m so obsessed with this.
So when you’re sitting there asking what you can add—another bonus, another freebie, another product on your shelf—I want you to flip it. Ask what you could remove that would say more than anything you could pile on.
When I was a stripper in the 1990s, one unwritten rule among dancers was that you must adopt a stage name.
There were two obvious reasons for this. One, stage names protect the identities of the women whose offerings are on public display. And two, stage names create a greater sense of theatrics, which helps put patrons in a wallet-friendly mood.
But I had a third reason. I was sure a stage name would help me overcome my fear of public nudity. So when I knew I was going to be twirling around the pole, I stripped off my name, too.
But I didn’t want to lose my unique identity in a sea of Savannas, a crowd of Madisons, and a herd of Bambis. There was already plenty of Ginger and Cinnamon on the spice rack.
I needed a stage name to represent my college-bound, goth-girl attitude. Something equal parts fun and fearless. So on a piece of paper, I listed my essential qualities. Intelligent, funny, and ambitious hit the paper first.
I flirted with names like Dorian, Dietrich, Ursula, Natasha, and Paloma before landing on Bianca.
She gave me confidence and money making super powers. And when she went overboard on her sass?
Not my fault. Blame it on Bianca.
Most people are trying to get what they want while staying exactly the same person they’ve always been—which is why everyone needs a stage name to help them make the identity leap.
Here’s what I mean.
You want more visibility on social media, but you don’t make videos. More sales would be lovely, except you take no action to fill your pipeline. And bold messaging keeps getting watered down until your brand looks like everyone else’s.
These are all identity problems.
Your desire is going one way and your behavior is going another. And your brain becomes what it repeatedly rehearses. Which is why you’ll never get what you want when behavior does not match desire.
So here’s the practice. And it’s a simple one.
Ask yourself where your desires and your behaviors aren’t matching up. Then ask yourself, “What kind of woman would effortlessly create the behaviors that would match the desire?
Is she making the videos? Is she taking action to fill her pipeline? Is she being super direct with her POVs?
Give her a stage name. It can be glamorous or ridiculous or completely private—you never have to tell a single soul.
Once you’ve got your stage name, you can switch identities in the time it takes to send a two-word text and do whatever needs to be done.
And when your newly named identity delivers your desires—and she will—what are you going to have her do next?
