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Several years ago, I was a member of several local clubs for women in business, and often got invited to speak at meetings and events.
One day, an invitation rolled into my inbox asking me to give a talk. I told the event organizer, “Sure, that sounds great! I’d like to title my presentation ‘Think Like A Stripper’, and base it on my upcoming book.”
If emails could express ‘stunned silence,’ that’s exactly what her reply would have sounded like.
She wrote: Actually, we’re hoping you can choose a different title for your talk – and not mention your book. We don’t want to potentially offend anyone.
If you’ve known me for about 5 minutes, you’re probably aware that “don’t want to offend anyone” isn’t a part of my vocabulary.
If you have to tone down your magic, you’re working the wrong crowd.
So I wrote back: I’m willing to change the title of my talk, if that feels absolutely necessary, but I’m not changing my content – or my story.
Let’s just say . . . that speaking gig didn’t pan out.
Nor did the speaking gig where I was asked to speak to a group of commercial real estate industry professionals – but if I wanted to bring my book to sell at the event, I’d have to hide the book in a brown paper bag so participants wouldn’t be embarrassed to walk out of the venue with it. No thanks!
Or the other time I was UN-invited to speak from a national women in business group – after I had already promoted the event on my website and to my mailing list.
Turns out I was too edgy for the board of directors. Too bad for them!
My street smarts are what helped me co-create a multi-million dollar commercial real estate investment company and a successful business coaching consultancy. Their audiences could learn a thing or two from me.
Here are stunning results from one of my speaking presentations where I showed the audience how to create bold viewpoints in their business.
– One participant sold $4000 in jewelry THAT day.
– One participant closed a $20,000 consulting deal a few weeks later.
– One participant got featured in the Washington Post.
And one participant had her article featured on Fast Company’s website.
I could have boxed up the stilettos and toned down my message to score more speaking gigs, but that’s not who I am.
Even though it initially hurt to not score that speaking gig, to get uninvited, and to be asked to put my book in a brown paper bag, it made me more determined to share my voice, and leverage my story. Frustration and determination always strengthens my personal brand.
Side note here: What I discovered from other organizations that weren’t afraid to have me as a guest is that I don’t enjoy giving your standard speaking presentation. I very much enjoy interacting with the audience, bringing them up on stage, asking them questions, and doing live coaching in front of the audience.
And while I haven’t done any live speaking in about eight years, the only way that I will do them now is if they are interactive. Otherwise, I have zero interest. This decision to only do interactive live speaking presentations is another example of how I have crafted & curated ‘the me I love to be’ in my personal brand. And have taken hurdles and obstacles and turned them into personal branding opportunities.
You have the right to experiment and explore how you conduct your business and deliver your products and services. (Really how you do anything. No wild idea is off the table). And I encourage you to do so until you find the right fit for yourself. This is the only way to have a sustainable business, and still be in business (and might I add LOVING your business) decades from now.
Hiding your true self halts business growth and keeps you constantly second-guessing your magic. So again I say, if you have to tone down your magic, you are working the wrong crowd.
As we move through this month, I want you to think abbout what you are boxing up. What part of YOU are you hiding? Keeping pent up. Or shoved down.
Your inner hippie? Your inner glam girl or glam guy?
Your inner smarty pants? Your inner bad girl or bad boy?
Your inner woo woo? Your inner nerd?
Your inner artist? Your inner dominatrix? (Oh. Come on. I can’t be the only one.)
How does it feel to squash yourself down? To make yourself properly acceptable to anyone and everyone?
Let’s unbox that part of you and invite it to play in your personal brand.
Because unboxed YOU. All of YOU. Is POWERFUL. The kind of unboxing that gets you noticed. Makes you memorable. Adorable. Fascinating.
So unboxed that people can’t stop talking about you. Being unboxed is the missing link that catapults you into the spotlight. Do you need me to dare you? Don’t worry, I will.
XXXO
