We closed on our house 2 weeks ago. And that morning I was clinging to our house like a tree hugger clings to trees.
How could I not?
It was our home for the last 12 years.
Chad and I fell in love in that house – we even got married here.
We shared our home with pets & people – some staying on as lodgers for several years.
Our house was often called Hotel Erika & Chad!
So as I was getting myself all spiffed up for the closing––I was a hot mess.
Tears poured down my face as my new reality was sinking in.
I was officially saying goodbye to our home and moving on to the next chapter in our lives.
(What exactly that is? We’re not sure yet. Stay tuned … )
As I put on my big girl boots—black suede Cole Haan over the knee stilettos—cleaned up my smeared mascara, dabbed on some fresh lip gloss, I remembered a tip I’m constantly sharing with my clients whenever they need to face their fears.
Something that’s so powerful it INSTANTLY shifts my energy.
Oh, you should know that I snagged this method from Matt Damon’s family-friendly movie, We Bought A Zoo …
Remember the part where Matt’s son is bummed because he desperately wants to tell his crush he loves her BUT he doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself?
Matt’s character has the best response.
‘Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you––something will come of it.’
Nailed it!
Read those words over and over and over again until it sinks in.
And then apply THE INSANE COURAGE FORMULA whenever you need a boost.
No one starts a business with this statement: I have a really bad idea. It doesn’t help anyone solve their problems. But who cares? I’ll turn my stupid idea into a business – because I love to waste my time, money & energy on ideas that don’t go anywhere.
You know your product or service is a difference maker. So how can a game-changing product or service perform so poorly in the marketplace?
Your energy is split.
Energy is the most powerful force on the planet. And if 100% of your energy isn’t behind your amazing product or service, it has no chance. Zip. Zero. Zilch.
Think of it like this …
For your product or service to perform well, you have to take a surgical approach. A clean slice right to the heart of the matter. And not a let’s-just-poke-around-and-see approach. Scattered shots go nowhere because 100% of your energy isn’t behind your offering.
Ok. That’s a simple concept to grasp.
But what’s not so easy, is just how do you get 100% of your energy behind your product or service when you have distractions, fears & confusion?
Well the short answer is this: You must heal, transform, or shift your split energy.
Examples of split energy:
One foot in your business, one foot out because you’re thinking about getting a job.
Afraid of being the spotlight – what will your friends & family say?
Too many ideas – what if you choose the wrong one?
Or your energy is split because you feel ashamed over not being where you think you should be by now.
Gary Zukav says, “The Universe won’t let you forget what it is that you need to heal.”
And it’s true. If you’ve ever tried to drown your sorrows in a bottle of wine, you know that while you might experience some relief, the next morning when you look in the mirror, not only do you see dark circles, you also see those darn problems staring you in the face.
Now let me be clear.
Healing, transforming or shifting your split energy doesn’t necessarily mean that you should analyze the hell out of it – because that usually leads to more analysis paralysis.
Healing, transforming or shifting your split energy can be as simple & practical as finding a new:
Strategy
Perspective
Solution
So that your energy is 100% focused on seeing your product or service succeed.
What distractions, fears & confusion do you need to heal in your business?
Make your list right now.
1._____________.
2._____________.
3._____________.
And once you have your list, create your action plan to heal, shift, or transform your split energies.
Today I’m sharing how I got #1 NY Times Bestseller & Weekly Good Morning America Contributor, Tory Johnson, Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran, and #1 NY Times BestsellerDan Pink to endorse my book, Think Like A Stripper.
Not so much because she was on Good Morning America doing her weekly segment: Deals & Steals, or that she was a columnist for SUCCESS Magazine, or that she was a multiple NY Times bestselling author, but because I appreciated her straight-to-the-point style and no-nonsense advice––and thought she’d be a perfect endorser for Think Like A Stripper. If I could get her name on my book, it would give my book instant credibility and open the doors to other A-List endorsers.
So in February of 2012 when I got an invite to be a host for her Minneapolis Spark & Hustle event (normally it was an application-only kinda thing), I was thrilled!
I had a large Minneapolis following and knew that if I did a good job for Tory, it would give me an opportunity to ask her to endorse Think Like A Stripper. (By the way – I had zero expectation that she would say yes to the endorsement – but I was willing to work my butt off to make it a possibility.)
Here’s what I did to impress Tory.
I convinced loads of women to sign-up for Spark & Hustle via personal invitations
I held a tele-seminar with Tory to promote the event
I hooked her up with my connections to a local television producer and got her on a popular afternoon TV show to promote the event
I was determined to make an impression on Tory and score extra points with her. So I asked for an advanced copy of her upcoming book. As soon as it was released, I wanted to be the first one to review it on Amazon and share it with my audience on Twitter & Facebook. On the day of the Spark & Hustle event, not only did I come early to help set up but also brought a thank you card as a token of appreciation!
Let me tell you, Tory noticed my efforts. She even told 200+ women at the event that I was her “Wow Girl” and she would do anything for me.
SCORE!
Once the event was over, I swooped in for the ask––she happily obliged.
One year later, Tory and I continued our relationship:
She quoted me in an article she wrote in the July, 2013 issue of SUCCESS Magazine
I got be a guest speak at 3 Spark & Hustles that spring
I went to NYC to work on my media presence with her during a 2-day private coaching event
Amazing results for doing a little bit of hustling for someone else.
Real estate mogul, business expert, founder of Corcoran Group, and star of ABC’s Shark Tank.
I had a hunch that sending her an email would be my last resort––I wanted to do something more personal than that. (She was my biggest business hero, afterall.) After doing some research and thinking about what I could do to also become her “Wow Girl”, I discovered that she was hosting a tele-class to promote an event called Business On Edge––and ONE lucky person would get the chance of receiving a free one hour long consultation with her! It seemed perfect––time to make my move.
I decided to call upon my Twitter community for assistance. Every Friday night, we held Shark Tank viewing parties and live tweeted about the drama that unfolded on each episode––it was a huge hit! Our efforts were so successful that at one point #DailyWhip trended on Twitter. Can you even fathom?
While Barbara was holding her teleseminar, over 100 tweets went out requesting that the Business on Edge people pick ME for the coveted hour-long session. BUT … they didn’t.
My next step? I started digging for more information and found that Barbara was also going to be speaking in New York City at Business on Edge. The only problem was that the event was only 4 days away—there was NO way my jam-packed schedule would permit a trip to NYC on such short notice.
Undaunted, I thought, “Who can I send in my place?”
I called up my friend, Amber McCue, and asked her if she would go to New York and personally deliver a letter from me to Ms. Barbara. I told Amber that I would gladly pay the $700 event ticket if she would make it her mission to hand-deliver my letter to Barbara.
Here’s what the letter said:
……………….
Hi Barbara,
It’s Erika Lyremark, founder of The Daily Whip and a huge fan of yours. I am thrilled you’re reading this, because it means that, after 10 years of you inspiring me and cracking the whip to get me moving, we are finally connecting.
I first discovered Use What You’ve Got at the library during a tough time in my life. Ending a nine-year career as a stripper, I had just stepped off the stage and into the commercial real estate business with my dad. He’d hired me to help me out, figuring that my street smarts and hustling finesse would help him lease out spaces in the 70,000 square foot warehouse he’d purchased a few years earlier.
I was the Minneapolis version of Ivanka Trump, helping Donald out…except I was driving a fork-lift, not being driven in a limousine, and I was leasing brick and mortar, not steel and glass. It wasn’t exactly the glamorous real estate empire of my dreams.
So when I came across your book calling my name from that library shelf, I swooped it up and had read the whole thing by the very next day. I felt like you were talking to me. Just like me, you were creative, edgy, sassy, and willing to hustle like you needed crack.
You believed in me in a way that other people never have. You saw what I could be.
It’s been ten years since I first read Use What You’ve Got. I have read and re-read your book so many times over the years, the pages are completely marked up, dog-eared, and worn out! Since then, I have helped my dad work toward that real estate empire. Together, we built a small but very successful commercial real estate company (about 250,000 square feet) that, even during the height of the recession, maintained a 98% occupancy rate.
In 2005, while still working with my dad, I started doing business coaching for entrepreneurs and knew I’d found what I was meant to do. And in September 2011, I decided to make my own business, The Daily Whip, my full-time job. Since then, I have coached over 200 women to gain confidence in their businesses and turn that confidence into cash and clout.
I also have a book coming out called Think Like a Stripper: How to Hustle Your Business Like You Mean It (working title). It’s all about the tips, tricks and tools I learned while swinging around the pole and how women entrepreneurs can apply them to ask for the sale, grow their business and stand out as a leader. (You’ll even see a mention in the book of my favorite story about your Bergdorf Goodman coat.)
I’m proud to say that the book is getting great reviews, including a cover quote and endorsement from Tory Johnson.
With that in mind, Barbara, here’s my BIG ask!
I would be THRILLED to turn the tables and send you my book. And, if you love what you see, it would be incredible if you would consider endorsing it. Aside from being a personal honor, it would be an amazing boost to my rapidly growing business and it could help me reach even more women who need my particular brand of coaching to take their businesses to the next level. You are a true inspiration to me and to the women who make up The Daily Whip community, and your stamp of approval would help the women I teach to hustle with confidence.
Please email me or call me at 612.xxx.xxxx, and I can send you an advance copy of the manuscript when it’s ready to roll.
Thank you for being the original Fancy Lady Business Hustler and inspiring me when it all felt so impossible.
With much love + respect,
Erika Lyremark
……………….
Amber graciously agreed to attend the event on my behalf. She handed Barbara the letter. Mission accomplished. After a week I sent an email to Barbara’s assistant to follow up—and voila! Barbara was a YES.
I’d been a fan of Dan Pink’s work since reading his book, A Whole New Mind, and I LOVED watching him on Oprah too.
While I’d had a gut feeling that both Tory & Barbara would say yes, with Dan I wasn’t sure at all. What did give me some confidence, though, was that based on the kind of books he writes, I knew he was a curious guy. I imagined he read all sorts of books, so why not mine?
But unlike Tory & Barbara, when I thought of a cool way to ask for the endorsement, nothing came to mind, except to simply send him an email where I would gush about how much I loved his work, and let him know that Tory Johnson & Barbara Corocoran were already a YES.
_____
I call this the Name Drop Method:
This person said yes!
This person said yes!
This person said yes!
If the person you’re asking for an endorsement likes and respects the people whose name you just dropped, you significantly increase your chance of a YES.
_____
However, since my email had the dullness of an inquiry (except the name of the book) you’d send to your banker or insurance company, I was worried it wouldn’t stand out. I gathered up my courage anyway, and pressed ‘send’. Much to my surprise 24 hours later, he emailed me back and said he’d be willing to take a look. A few months later Dan said this about Think Like A Stripper…
‘This book might surprise you. In it, Lyremark distills her unusual career and experience into savvy, actionable advice on how to leave your comfort zone, how to handle success and failure, and how to stay sane under pressure. This is a smart and provocative read.’ – Dan Pink, #1 NY Time Bestselling Author of A Whole New Mind
My endorsement dreams came true!
_____
Now before you go and ask A-Listers to endorse your product or service… I don’t want to spend your time being a suck-up who kisses everyone’s ass. You must see––and present––yourself as an equal (because NO ONE is better than you, even if they have more cash & clout).
Here are 6 questions to set yourself up for success.
Would you do something for this person even if they do NOTHING for you? For instance, let’s say they deny your request and then turn around and ask YOU for a favor. Would you want to do it?
How do they treat others? (I’ve met people in person whom I admired online, and then when I met them in person, I was not impressed.)
When you think about this person do you feel amazing about yourself?
Is what you are asking in alignment with what they already do and the message they stand for?
Are you attached to the outcome or truly interested in building a relationship with this person?
Have you done the WORK to make your product or service the best it can be?
Like when I asked E. Napoletano, author of The Power Of Unpopular, if they would endorse Think Like A Stripper. They said they’d take a look, but I needed to be prepared for frank feedback if E. didn’t feel they could endorse it.
So I was happy dancing in my stilettos when they said YES––and at the same time I had prepared for their honest criticism. Hearing NO is never easy. But it’s part of the game.
For example… There was a woman who I had dreamt of endorsing my book.
I even traveled to New York City to attend a conference she was speaking at with the sole purpose of meeting her and inquiring if she would endorse my book. She said she’d consider it. When I eventually finished editing the manuscript, she came back to me and said she’d love to endorse my book, but couldn’t due to the fact that the edgy title & storyline may upset her board of directors. I was fine with that. I knew the book title was a risk––a risk I was willing to take.
Now what do you do if you don’t have a product or service ready to market, but you still want influential people to back YOU as an individual?
It’s simple! Get a personal endorsement instead.
Example a few years ago I was creating a course about money when it dawned on me: who do I know that’s passionate about helping women earn more and would be kind enough to vouch for me? Someone important, and well known, who’s seen my work in action?
Ah ha! Tory Johnson. Remember her? So I emailed Tory and asked her if she would endorse me. She said yes!
Erika is absolutely fearless when it comes to money. Having it, creating it, and letting it flow. On stage at Spark & Hustle, Erika energized the crowd with her whip-sharp observations and no-bull attitude, all wrapped into her seemingly endless supply of hilarious stories. If you want to ditch your money anxiety and forge a healthy relationship with your financial worth, Erika can help you with her street smarts and a huge dose of compassion. – Tory Johnson, #1 NY Times Bestseller of The Shift
Here’s another example from the time I asked Laura Belgray––co-creator of The Copy Cure with Marie Forleo––for an endorsement. Despite never being a client before, we’d been friends for many years and she’d personally experienced my “bossy-sauce ways.”
Here’s the email I sent her.
Hey what’s new pussycat? I’m making super-deluxe changes to my website. Would you be willing to give me a personal endorsement? A couple of sentences will do – just so people know that I’m legit and I’m not a well-dressed serial killer. That kind of thing. I’ll also need a photo of you.
Xo.
Erika
And here’s what Laura emailed me back.
Erika doesn’t just have a gift for business. She has an insane knack for looking at your business and your gifts, and knowing what you need to do with it all. And, of course, she’s famous for getting you to follow through. Plus, she’s the kind of person who’ll think of an idea for you and jump on the phone to tell you. Who’s that generous, and who still uses the phone? – Laura Belgray, Founder of Talking Shrimp & Co-creator of The Copy Cure
Not too shabby for simply asking! Here are a few more personal endorsements I asked for after being a guest speaker. (Let me be clear, none of these folks volunteered. I had to ask.)
“Planning a retreat? Hosting a summit? You need Erika Lyremark. After having her be part of The Copy Chat, I asked the 4,000+ listeners to share their favorite speaker from the series. The winner? Erika, of course. She makes every single tip feel so doable and brings her personality to everything she does. You can’t help but hang on to her every word.”
“I’ve invested literally millions of dollars in the coaching field-founding funder of The Institute of Coaching (housed at Harvard’s Medical School McLean Hospital), funder/publisher of The Coaching Commons and many more. So I know what I’m talking about when I tell you that Erika is a complete original in the field of coaching. I’ve never encountered another coach remotely like Erika and her kick-ass approach.”
You’ll need to customize it according to how you know that person.
‘Hey, would you be willing to give me a personal endorsement? Here’s what I’m up to _____________.”
There’s no obligation to say yes, however if you do choose to give me a personal endorsement, I would love to share some potential ideas on what to say so that writing it is super duper easy and simple for you.
Either way if you could just let me know in the next 72 hours if you can or can’t that would help me out a lot.
Thanks!’ _______
MORE TIPS & IDEAS
Offer to write it.
Seriously, people are busy. This is way more common than you think.
Only ask one or two times.
Remember this is an invitation to do you a favor, so only ask once or twice.
Don’t be shy about editing it & polishing it.
Just make sure you run it by them to make sure they’re okay with your edits.
Grab social proof from social media / in person conversations.
If someone says something amazing about you on social media or even when you’re having a conversation with them, ask them on the spot, “Hey! Can I quote you on that? It’d really help my business.”
Bottom line?
When you’re asking A-Listers & influential people to endorse your products & services or YOU… take creative risks, build relationships, make it easy for them, and have fun.
XXXO
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